What a place to start! And why am I always starting? Who isn’t? Life is a cycle of falling flat on our faces, getting back up, and trying again. Even when not it is intentional, we are Always Starting. It has been the souce of exhaustion in my life but it has always been the lifeblood and single characteristic that people most admire, or so I am told. My response is always the same, “What choice do we have?” If you are not Always Starting, then what are you doing?
So here I sit after taking a serious break from writing. When did it end? I am not sure. I guess I could go back and look at my last article on LinkedIn or the last blog post on my Always Starting WordPress site. In reality the day the last thought was written is less important than the why. There were a number of reasons if I ask myself, and I do, I ask myself a lot of things, and yes I answer back. Call me crazy, it is what it is. Oh yeah, back to the question of why I stopped writing.
The first reason was “AI.” Yep, while most people were finding their inner author through AI, writing posts that were full of em-dashes (Who had even heard of em-dashes before AI filled our writing with them?). I actually took offense that AI made it possible for anyone to author an article. I said it, I was offended that someone who had no previous writing skills could now author a full book with success. Even worse is that they could hire a “Ghostwriter” to write on AI on their behalf. Like what!?! The funny coincidence is that I use AI to navigate Excel like a BOSS. I assume there are no “Excel Masters” out there who are offended by that, but who knows.
The second was the internal conflict of giving up too much. Was I revealing too much about what goes on in my overthinking brain? Was I revealing too much expertise in the career that I have worked over 35 years to build? In both cases, why did I care? I never did previously. Maybe it was the…hell, I don’t know what it was, but it stopped me in my tracks.
What I know is that I have built a life through a most unconventional journey and people find it intriguing, motivating, and honest. I don’t mind sharing, and if that sharing helps someone find their voice, gives them confidence, or entertains them, well then I have “given back.” Giving back is important to me. I have been given a lot to get here, and the only thing I can do is give it back in wisdom. Isn’t that the definition of wisdom after all (…that is another article altogether.)
I am here starting on Substack because it is time. I did not stop writing because I ran out of things to say. I stopped because I started questioning whether I had the right to say them out loud.
There is so much to say, so much to admit, and all of it requires a resolve that only writing can give me. I am a writer, and apparently so is everyone else thanks to ChatGPT. :) Writing is a voice, one that is not heard, but that can be felt. I dare you to feel something, no judgment, even if you might be judging me. Read, take what serves, and leave the rest.
Always Starting is back. And this is Life as I Live It. - Lori