I was so excited for weeks to get here. The beginning of a journey that has been years in the making. I signed up without any apprehension knowing that I am at a place in my life where I am ready for this. “This” is Yoga Teacher Training, this is not really about yoga, teaching, or training. It is about diving deeper into a practice that I have embraced over the last 20 years. It is about creating habits over the next eight months that will guide the rest of my life. The life I want. A life where my yoga practice keeps me grounded in my life, keeps me balanced in my…wait…balance?? How ironic. I am searching for balance and the first class has me on my back on the worst merry-go-round, spinning violently. Vertigo.
There is no worse feeling than not trusting your ability to stand up without falling down. There is no worse feeling then feeling like even when your head is perfectly still you are still moving. Let’s stop this diatribe. This is not about vertigo, it is the first lesson of this journey, slow down.
When something like this happens I have learned not to ask “why” but rather, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” I know what this is, ironically it has happened at every yoga retreat I have gone to and now here. It is a reminder to slow down, or in this case to stop. This message serves me well as I am reminded that these next eight months is about BEing not DOing. This is about observing, receiving, and learning. To forget everything you think you know, you have to stop, reset, and reengage.
The rest of this weekend will not be about doing. Because I have physically been stopped in my tracks, I will BE the observer. I will BE receiving. I will reengage.
First lesson in Yoga Teacher Training that I may have known all along is to “Meet yourself where you are.” Today I am on the couch, and that is gentle, that is honoring myself, and that is meeting myself where I am.
Life as I live it - Lori