Today I am sharing one of the cards I read at yoga class this morning. This one hit me.
The journey I am currently on is one of change. Change as a metamorphosis rather than a redirection. I have been on this path for a while now and as life has evolved so has the journey. I struggle with figuring out how to not let go of who I am while I determine who I am becoming. I am beginning to recognize how much of my value I have attached to my identities and how tightly my ego holds on to them.
There is much from this card that I have to wander through today.
Let’s start with the quote that “hit me.”
“And now another version of you seems to be emerging. Not instead of that woman. From her.”
The card acknowledges how much of my life I have spent building to get where I am today, then reminds me…
“You don’t have to reject…[who you are]…in order to grow spiritually. You may simply be discovering that those things are parts of your life rather than the definition of your life.”
The card itself is enough to meditate on. But the words that stand out to me are broken, trust, and soften. None of these describe me well. I would never use ‘soft’ to describe myself, and I doubt others would either. I think of myself as firm. Yet ‘soften’ appeals to me when it means being gentle with myself.
Always Starting was born out of the idea that I am “ever-changing” and I am reminded that change is a normal part of life. Change is how we become more of who we truly are. The meaning of the card goes on to remind us that “Healing is happening every moment of every day.” In my life I have realized that without injury there is no healing. The injury requires acknowledgement and the healing requires acceptance.
I have often wondered why I have had to navigate experiences so extreme that many people will never know anything like them. I also wonder at what point maybe it will be enough. I know how to be resilient. What I am learning now is how to be gentle with the woman who has had to be.
Life as I live it - Lori Kiel